The 5 Disastrous Mistakes I Made As A New Manager

The 5 biggest ways I messed up and how to avoid them.

Going from a high-performing individual contributor, regardless of role, to an effective leader who delivers results is one of the hardest transitions in business.

And frankly, it's one many people are unknowingly set up to fail before they’re even given a real chance.

The truth is, most corporations aren’t developing future leaders. They’re not building for the long game. Most training is role-specific, designed to boost immediate output and help the company drive higher profits. It’s about operational efficiency, not leadership capacity.

“Leaders aren’t born, they are made. And they are made just like anything else — Through hard work.” -Vince Lombardi

But leadership is a skill set, just like sales or operations. And yet, the outdated belief still lingers: if you're good at your job, people will naturally follow you. That assumption ignores the reality that leading others is an entirely different discipline. One that requires a completely different mindset, a new set of tools, and ongoing development. It demands emotional intelligence, the ability to navigate conflict, coach performance, earn trust, and inspire buy-in.

Receiving that promotion should be a day of celebration. You undoubtedly worked hard for it. But it’s equally important to step into the new role with intention. Because like all relationships, once trust is lost, it’s incredibly hard to earn back.

GETTING TURNED DOWN FOR A PROMOTION WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME

I started my career with a series of fortunate accidents.

I had just graduated college and wasn’t sure what my aim was, but I knew I wouldn’t be staying in my college town for long. During that time, I was working out at a local gym and casually asked if they had any open roles.

The club manager took a chance on me and brought me on as an entry-level sales associate. My job was to tour prospective members around the gym and help them find the right options based on their wellness goals. It came pretty naturally to me. I loved fitness, and talking to people was fun. It felt like a natural fit and I thrived in the role.

Before long, I was promoted to Membership Manager of a small location. I had a “team” of three, and our responsibilities were narrow in scope. In reality, I treated them more like friends than direct reports. Instead of coaching or holding them accountable, I picked up their slack. It felt easier than being the bad guy.

On paper, I was doing well, and I figured it was time to ask for more. So I had a conversation with my club manager that ended up changing the entire direction of my career.

“I want your job. I want to run an entire gym,” I told him.

He raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? Do you even know what you’re getting yourself into?”

I don’t think he meant it to be rude. But I was young, overly confident, and took it the wrong way.

I shot back, “Without me and my team, this gym would be hurting. I know I could do your job.”

To this day, I think back to that moment and silently thank him for being patient. Because honestly, I would’ve thrown my own ass out. But instead of reacting, he responded like a real leader. He knew how to help me land the plane instead of crashing it in a blaze of ego and ignorance.

“Look, Ryan,” he said. “You’re good at what you do. But you don’t know left from right when it comes to leading a team. You’ve got two employees. I have forty. And this is one of our smaller clubs. There are moving parts you aren’t even aware of. It’s hard to explain, because you don’t know what you don’t know.”

Not only did he let me get away with being a disrespectful punk to his face, he also laid out a path that would eventually set me up for real success. And it was a long path.

He suggested I take a step back. Start over. Cross-train in operations and learn the service side of the business. He encouraged me to leave the sales department and build a foundation that would give me exposure to managing larger teams and understanding how the gym actually ran behind the scenes.

It wasn’t the shortcut I wanted, but it was the education I needed.

Eventually, I climbed my way back up. And eventually, I became that Club Manager.

Looking back, I realize how differently things could have gone if he hadn’t taken the time to act like a true leader. He could’ve dismissed me entirely, and I might’ve walked away feeling discouraged, never getting another shot.

Or worse, he could’ve given me the promotion I thought I wanted, before I was ready, and I could’ve crashed and burned, damaging my confidence and career in the process. But instead, he did what real leaders do: he saw past my arrogance, recognized my potential, and gave me the honest guidance I needed, not the validation I wanted. That moment didn’t just change my trajectory. It shaped the kind of leader I strive to be today. Systematic

YOU ARE BEING SET UP FOR FAILURE

There will always need to be a level of ownership in one’s growth. I don’t believe true growth can happen unless you’re ready, and willing, to take the necessary steps forward. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take a moment to acknowledge the systemic issues that leave so many employees unprepared for leadership in the first place.

As I write this, I’m part of a leadership cohort working on a new protocol to support the development of Associate Hospital Managers. Why? Because too many people have been promoted based on tenure and high performance in their current roles, only to fail when they’re suddenly expected to lead others.

And it’s not their fault. They were never trained to lead.

What I’m seeing now isn’t unique. At nearly every company I’ve worked for, I’ve watched high-performing task-doers get promoted into leadership roles, only to fall on their faces. It all circles back to the same issue: most companies aren’t training people to become leaders. They’re training them to maximize output in their specific role.

“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.” - Ronald Osborn

For me, every breakthrough in my career came when I stopped waiting on the company to develop me and took growth into my own hands. I found a mentor. I read leadership books. I listened to podcasts. I had real conversations with people in similar situations. I built my own development plan because the structure around me wasn’t designed to do it for me.

You can’t be afraid to take your growth personally. Don’t wait for a handout from your company. The tools are out there, but it’s up to you to reach for them.

THE TOP 5 MISTAKES I MADE. A LOT.

So, you think you’re ready to lead a team.

You’ve excelled in your role. You’ve done the research. You’ve read about what it means to be a leader. You feel prepared. You know what you’re getting yourself into.

But here’s the truth: you don’t wake up one day and magically become a leader just because your title changes. Most new managers step into leadership with good intentions, but without the training, support, or mindset shift required to actually lead. And that’s where the trouble starts.

Hopefully, you can learn from this list of the top 5 mistakes I made, and have a smoother path forward.

1. AVOIDING THE DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

This one likely stems from a lifetime of avoiding uncomfortable emotions. When I was new to leadership, I took the easy way out whenever I could. I let poor-performing employees slide. I lowered standards to keep the peace. I gave in to rude clients. I was soft because I thought that was kindness. But I eventually realized I was doing everyone a disservice.

Most new managers fall into the “nice trap.” I wanted to be liked. I wanted to avoid conflict. But dodging tough feedback, sugarcoating problems, or ignoring performance issues doesn’t help anyone. It creates confusion, fuels resentment, and weakens your credibility.

Leadership isn’t about being liked. Leadership is about being trusted. And trust is built when you’re honest, clear, and consistent, even when it’s uncomfortable.

2. DOING INSTEAD OF DELEGATING

Even after I realized what I was doing, I brushed it off by calling myself a control freak. I can't count how many times I said, “Oh, I’ll just do it myself.” I’d justify it by saying I just wanted it done right. But with a little reflection, I uncovered the real issue, it wasn’t about control. It was about avoidance. I wasn’t a control freak. I was a terrible coach.

Training and developing others is hard. Doing it yourself is easy. Once again, I was choosing the easy way out.

Sure, it might take more time upfront to train someone, but the longer you delay it, the more the workload piles up. And eventually, you become the bottleneck. Your job as a leader is no longer to be the doer. Your job is to supervise, coach, and support your team. And you can’t do that if you’re buried in tasks.

Delegation isn’t lazy. It’s leadership in action. Empowering others to own their work is how you scale impact—and how you grow trust, skill, and confidence across your team.

3. THINKING THAT LEADERSHIP MEANS CONTROL

No one is going to trust you on day one. That trust has to be earned. And it’s usually earned slowly, through consistency, humility, and follow-through.

One of the ways I lost trust early in my leadership career was by trying to control everything.

Spoiler alert: control is an illusion. But that didn’t stop me from gripping every task with both hands. Every detail. Every decision. Every outcome. I thought being involved in everything made me a better leader. In reality, it made me a bottleneck, and worse, it sent the message that I didn’t trust my team.

Leadership isn’t about knowing everything or being everywhere. It’s about guiding with clarity and stepping back with confidence. Hovering over people doesn’t build accountability. It creates fear. And fear is a poor substitute for trust.

Micromanagement erodes morale fast. Instead, empower your team. Let them try, let them fail, and then lead them through what they can learn from it. That’s where growth happens. That’s where trust is built.

4. NO DEFINED EXPECTATIONS

Some of this ties back to avoiding difficult conversations. But here’s the bigger issue: employees can’t act in alignment with expectations if I never take the time to make those expectations clear. And the same goes for the work they’re expected to complete.

I used to assume my team had the same drive and vision I did. That they’d just naturally execute the plan. But that was never the case. And honestly, how could it be?

People can’t hit a target they can’t see.

If your team doesn’t know what success looks like, how to prioritize, or how they’re being measured, they’ll stay stuck, or spin in the wrong direction. Clear expectations aren’t about micromanaging. They’re about giving people the tools to win.

The key is to set expectations early and consistently. Because changing bad behavior later is a lot harder than preventing it from happening in the first place.

5. CHANGING TOO MUCH, TOO SOON

I’ll admit, this one showed up later in my career, after I had a little success under my belt and the ego was flowing.

As leaders, we’re supposed to look for ways to improve. But there were plenty of times I tried to implement change with little to no input from the people already doing the work—and it backfired. Operations would spin into chaos, and morale would dip. But hey, I was the smart one… right?

It’s important to question processes. But you can’t bulldoze everything overnight. Lasting change starts with listening. Take the time to understand your employees’ goals, frustrations, and how the culture actually works before overhauling it.

More often than not, you’ll uncover small but meaningful improvements. Maybe it’s removing an unnecessary meeting, simplifying an approval process, or solving a pain point no one’s addressed. But those wins come from conversations, not assumptions. So ask yourself: are you listening more than you're talking?

PROGRESS. NOT PERFECTION

No one steps into leadership with it all figured out. We stumble. We second-guess. We try to be the hero, the fixer, the friend. and sometimes, all three at once. But leadership isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about learning and showing up with intention.

The good news? Every mistake is a chance to lead better. The even better news? You don’t have to wait until you’re in damage control to make a change. Start now. Reflect. Get honest. Ask for feedback. And keep growing.

Because your team doesn’t need a flawless boss. They need a real one. One who listens, learns, and leads with clarity and care.

What are some leadership mistakes that you have made (or witnessed) that taught you something valuable? Have you been victim to having a boss that should have never been in leadership?

I’d love to hear from you down below.