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Savitree Kaur's avatar

Every time imposter syndrome creeps in, I remind myself of this incredible conversation I once had over tea with a superstar CPA who authored rules for compensation and accountability, among other things, and was a big deal (long story how I ended up having tea with him), and he told me that he, too, suffers from imposter syndrome. When he gets introduced, it makes him uncomfortable. “They can’t possibly be talking about me,”he thinks. So of course it would make sense that I’d feel like an imposter.

So… it’s human. And we just need to strengthen our muscle to overcome it and remind ourselves that it’s just our stupid brain trying to keep us regrettably “safe”.

This was good, Ryan. So much I can touch upon.

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Ryan Council's avatar

I am so damn glad you enjoyed it! I really do appreciate and value your feedback. You are always in depth with your words and it means alot.

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Bougie Hippie's avatar

It's a sneaky bugger:

"Imposter syndrome rarely announces itself. Most of the time, it slips quietly into the background and starts pulling the strings."

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Ryan Council's avatar

Its the fucking worst. Sneaking little shit

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Dr Priyanka Upadhyai's avatar

I have struggled with imposter feelings all my life and I completely agree with you when you say that - "Confidence is what gets built because you were willing to leap." Thank you for this piece and nudge :)

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Ryan Council's avatar

I am so glad you loved it!

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

I actually stopped feeling this way at work because I learned a new technique: not giving a shit 😌

But seriously you gave me some things to think about for someone on my team. I am beginning to think their lack of confidence is this exactly. Thank you!

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Ryan Council's avatar

Hahaha. Not giving a shit is definitely one way out of it

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I.L. Williams's avatar

Perfection paralysis also goes into this…🙈

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Ryan Council's avatar

Paralysis by Analysis is NO JOKE!

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Zadie Fox's avatar

This is an incredibly insightful and practical piece, Ryan. Thank you for dissecting Imposter Syndrome with such clarity and vulnerability.

The way you describe "the second-guess spiral" and the "constant low-grade hum of anxiety" resonates so deeply. It's truly sneaky how it operates from the inside, making us question our own earned achievements. I particularly appreciate your point that it's "not a knowledge problem... not a skill problem. It’s something else entirely." That reframing alone is powerful.

Your advice on separating feelings from evidence ("Give yourself credit for all the rad shit you’ve done!") and the crucial reminder that "Confidence doesn’t show up first. Action does," are gold. This isn't just theory; it's a battle plan for reclaiming your peace and stepping fully into your capabilities.

This essay is a huge gift to anyone quietly battling those doubts. Truly excellent work.

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Jeff Feldman, MSW, LSW's avatar

I've found that I need regular positive feedback to help combat imposter syndrome. In the absence of this, I tend to assume I've done poorly. This doesnt mean I can't take constructive criticism, just that I need regular positive reinforcement. Ive shared this with my current supervisor and it has been helpful. She doesnt applaud every action I take or decision I make, but she often throws a "good work" or "good idea" or "I'm so happy we hired you for this role" into our conversations and supervision sessions. Ive found this helps keep my thought patterns more realistic. It helps to ask for what you need.

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Ryan Council's avatar

Validation is powerful. Some people thrive with it while some find it meaningless. In my career I don’t find it to be a bad or good thing — it’s just another tool to use to help and individual.

I think the key is to be authentic in the praise. I am happy to hear your supervisor has been receptive!

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Nimita Kaul's avatar

I lived through it again while I read your post. Everything you mentioned was true for me, how it feels, seeking evidence, oscillating between actions, gaining confidence and reverting to the same self-doubt at times. I ended up messaging my colleagues to gather the evidence of my past conduct and professional accomplishments, read up a lot about it, yet succumbed to it and had severe anxiety (re-reading and getting emails and messages vetted before sending them, thinking people are laughing at me or are talking about me and my performance at work, I was on edge and had a doomsday feeling when I woke up, almost daily) which led me to therapy - which helped eventually. Glad to state that it hasn't beat me yet but keeps emerging in different versions. Sometimes it prevails and sometimes I am able to ignore it. It has certainly led me to good things but I would never wish it upon anyone else or myself again.

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Ryan Council's avatar

I absolutely agree that it never fully disappears. But we can learn to see the signs of our mind tricking us into untruthful submissions. That is the key for me.

It sounds like you are doing a lot better with it all!

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Nimita Kaul's avatar

Yes, I am. Thanks.

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